My Heart Will Not Go On

by The Digital Writer

The lines were getting blurry,

Faces staggering by in a slurry of features.

Each change of expression was tape wrenched from skin,

Uneven blotches of redness from self-inflicted wounds.

The masquerade no longer passed in a flurry.

Perpetually hidden behind a smiling mask.

I am thou, thou art I;

A mantra desperately repeated in hopes of being true

Yet no answer ever received.

Days descend into darkness,

Shadows cast upon the surrounding walls.

Creatures lurk, tainting memories once sublime,

Cherished halls turned to ruin.

Bitter and lonely,

Drawn into a corner with no one and everyone to blame.

The laughs that had been real,

Come back as scars.

Each message sent says to keep looking up,

To grin enough so that it becomes real.

The heart can only chase after a time

That was left on a path no one remembers.

Don’t smile at me,

Or lie to me.

You know that I’m not good enough,

All my emotions broke long ago

I’ll no longer continue this unfaithful facade;

The fetters that once held me will be broken.

Society’s demands of maintaining reputation,

Are soon to be shattered.

Always being told what to do, what to say.

No longer will I listen,

Nor will I stand to be forced

Into a box that is not my own.

I will not follow your James Charles tutorials,

To further cover my deadpanned countenance.

I will not go through all of social media,

Just to realize how out of touch I am.

The corner that had been assigned to me

Will no longer be blank.

It will be decorated in red, or blue, or gray,

Instead of the pseudo-transparency it is meant to be.

My colors are my own.

While they may seem bleak to others,

I will be content with them.

Expectations will no longer bind me.

Lyrics of songs always demanding,

I feel a specific way will be ignored.

So no matter what Celine Dion says,

My heart will not go on.

It will beat to its own drum,

Regardless if it doesn’t fit the standard.

The masks will be removed

And the scars will heal.